weekly jokes is back <br>

<blockquote>

<u>Raising chickens</u><br>

David’s holidays have started, and decided to raise some chickens to prove his capacity to his father. (okay… raising chickens prove one’s capacity…)<br>

He first bought some chicks, and later some hens. But soon, all the chicks died.<br>

Father: What did you feed to chicks?<br>

David: I didn’t feed it anything<br>

Father:  Then of course they’d die!<br>

David: But aren’t feeding the chicks responsibilities of the hen?<br>

</blockquote>

retarded person la… if like that then no need to feed chickens liao, just leave them to their hens =.=

<br>

-POOP

weekly jokes is back :D

haha. just saw this on some random forum

joke of the day week is back :D

Impressive person

Teacher: Tell me, if Shakesphere (anyhow spell de...) is still alive till today, do you think he would be a very impressive person?

Student: Yes, he would be a very impressive person. Because no one else on Earth could survive for up to 400 years old.

daily jokes finally back :D

It's not my fault

During an exam, a teacher saw a boy peeking at his classmate's paper.

"How can you do this?" the teacher scolded, "I've already seen you peek more then 1 time."

"Teacher, don't blame it on me." the boy replied, "If his handwriting was not so messy, just one look would have been enough."

last weekend to EOYS!
最后的冲刺！
jiayous people!

-POOP

5 more days! (not including today)

ok. the long awaited joke of the day :D

The safest place
Mother bought a packet of sweets.
"Put it in a place where no one can touch it" she reminded her son.
"Then you should put it in my tummy" the son said, "no one will ever touch it :D"

-POOP

A man walks up to the main desk a library and says in a loud commanding voice to the librarian, “I’ll take two hamburgers, no mayonnaise, and an order of fries”. The librarian looks up at him, shocked. Summoning up all the testy authority she can, she says to him, “Sir, this is a library!” The man pauses for only a split second and then leans over close to her, cups his hand over his mouth so as to direct his voice only to her ear, and whispers, “I’ll take two hamburgers, no mayonnaise, and an order of fries”.

jokes are finally back :)
-POOP

Labels: 9 more days...

Since I dont know what to post, from now on, my new session will be...

REPLYING THE BLOGWALKER'S MESSAGE!!!

To SexyLily
YO! I know you love our blog. Everyone says so... but... I dont think I want to visit yours cause just by seeing your name... I kinda get... how to say... not have the appropriate feeling... so yeah, I'm not visiting your blog... but thanks for visiting ours! ^^

To Lisa
Thanks for visiting our blog but... I cannot read malay... so this proves how much I'm not paying attention in Malay lessons... damn... but well, maybe you want to translate in english for us? cause I definately DID listen in English lesson. ^^


Thats all for today... NIGHT!

whoosh. im finally back again.

15 more days to death!
20 more days to revive!
32 more days to holidays!

"Tough times don't last, but tough people do."

-POOP

Miss Yeo said....

:D

-POOP

yay :D today got shao nian wen zhai :D

PERSEVERE!

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

I am back!!

Jim and Edna are both patients in a mental hospital. One day they are strolling the grounds and Jim ;who has a death wish launches himself into the swimming pool and proceeds to drown. Edna leaps in and saves him. Later people from the mental health board visit Edna in her room. Edna saying “we think you showed great presence of mind and rational response in saving Jim, we have good news and bad news. The good news is since you did so well we have decided to release you....the bad I'm sorry to tell you Jim has just hanged himself in his room.” “Well it's peachy you’ve decide to let me go,” says Edna, “don't worry about Jim he didn't hang himself.. I put him there to dry.”

-POOP

last day of holidays T.T
(although i bet most of you are mugging like siao that it didnt seem like holidays...)
but, anyway, heres todays daily joke :D

A bus station is where the bus stops;
A train station is where the train stops;
On my desk, I have a work station.........

exactly! my desk is my work station too XD

-POOP

ok.. its already over 12, but nvm, to me its still friday, so daily jokes continue :D
ytd's joke:

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks short of a load, or his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

real smart person XD

today's joke:

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least twenty times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good, now that we've cleared up your nose, let's work on your hearing."

-POOP

finally one day where im not posting super late at night :D
(whoohoo! suddenly realised that i maintained daily jokes for 1 whole term XD)
anyway, todays (super long) daily jokes is here :D

~~FINAL EXAM~~

INSTRUCTIONS:
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY:
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE:
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING:
2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to it probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

MUSIC:
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicia, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY:
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ENGINEERING:
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS:
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY:
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

PHYSICS:
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

PHILOSOPHY:
Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

If you finish early turn your paper in at the table at the front of the room.

0.o WOW...
this a hell school or what?

-POOP

its already wednesday (pass 12 le), half of holidays gone T.T
anyway, daily jokes is here again :D

According to a news report, a certain private school in Markham ON was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Several memos were posted about this, without effect.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls just how hard it was. Under careful instructions, the man took out a long-handled squeegee, solemnly dipped it in the nearest toilet bowl, and scrubbed at the mirror.

There was complete silence in the room. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are Teachers ...
and then there are Educators.

Educators know the 'effective way'... XD

-POOP

HAPPEE BRITHDAY KYLIE! :D :P :) ;)

today's daily jokes is about earthquake :D

Earthquake Safety Tips

Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

*Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so."

*To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.

*Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.

*Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.

*Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now.

*For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.

*A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.

*Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.

*In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table or your uncle.

lol. plain retarded-ness XD

-POOP

almost forgot to post again, but i remembered at last :D

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling)...................

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Dear School; Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his fathers fault.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won’t be in school for a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

retarded parents XD

-POOP

whoohoo! i love holidays XD

TGIF!!!
finally!!!
a super long daily joke is here :D

A man's car broke down as he was driving past a
beautiful, old monastery. He walked up the drive and
knocked on the front door of the monastery. A monk
answered, listened to the man's story and graciously
invited him to spend the night.

The monks fed the man and led him to a tiny chamber in
which to sleep. The man thanked the monks and slept
serenely until he was awakened by a strange sound.

The next morning, as the monks repaired his car, he
asked about the sound that woke him. The monks said,
"We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound.
You're not a monk."

The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he
thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his
way.

During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the
source of the alluring sound.

Several years later, the man was driving in the same
area. He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked
admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so
enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be
permitted to spend another night under their peaceful
roof. The monks agreed and the man stayed.

Late that night, he heard the sound. The next morning,
he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks
said, "We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound.
You're not a monk."

By now, the man's curiosity had turned to obsession.
He decided to give up everything and become a monk if
that was the only way to learn about the sound.

He informed the monks of his decision and began the
long and arduous task of becoming a monk. Seventeen
years later, the man was finally established as a true
member of the order. When the celebration ended, he
humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be
told the source of the sound.

Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge
wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key.
That door swung open to reveal a second door of
silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had
passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent
than the last. The new monk's face was awash with
tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source
of the mysterious sound he had heard so many years
before......


But, I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk.

=.= this is what we call Epic Suspense...
This extract uses an ending with multiple possibilities, which is a SUPER CLIFF-HANGER. which can drive the readers who just read a whole chunk of text crazy XD
The technique of using hanging ideas are also implimented to add on the the suspense.

ahaha... so this joke is suitable to be an unseen extract for lit :D

-POOP

whoohoo! chem test is finally over!
this is (somewhat) related to science, exothermic and endothermic :)
its a little long, though...

Bonus Question in a test: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to
know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go the
Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate
given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student
received the only "A".

ahaha. damn retarded...
too much free time ah, he...
still go write this kind of essay...

-POOP

HAPPEE TEACHERS' DAY :D :P :) ;)

jiayou for chem tmr!
(i bet all the kiasu ppl are mugging now...)

here's today joke :)

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, 'Did you hear that Fluffy died?' The guy stammers and says, 'Um...no...um...what happened?'. The neighbor replies, 'We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!'

ahaha! XD
who ask that guy, wanna pretend that it isnt his fault...

-POOP

ST. Nicks
2 Truth family
40 unique members.

Alicia
band
Weiling
st johns
Ann
hockey
literature rep
Szeteng
library
IT rep
ACC rep
Siew kei
npcc
Keyue
华会
Claire
hockey
home econs rep (1st half)
Christabel
band
Claudie
st johns
Elisabeth
girl guides
art rep
Shanice
green club
Xinyi
chinese orchestra
Cara
green club
IT rep
Sher Ting
华会
Jasmine
band
geog rep
Jamie
ijym
science rep
Jolene
library
chinese rep
Kylie
library
semester 2 welfare councilor
Joelle
dance
history rep
Laurel
library
PE rep
Lynnette
Girl guides
Semester 2 security councilor
Shao Min
string ochestra
english rep
Kar Yee
chinese orchestra
Melony
band
Debbie
dance
Home econs rep (2nd half)
Jia Zhen
st johns
Yi Fen
girl guides
semester 2 admin councilor
Giogi
eldds
semester 1 welfare councilor
Yu Hui
band
semester 1 maths rep
semester 1 art rep
semester 2 attendance councilor
Rachel Quek
art club
Shuna
npcc
Sharlene
girl guides
Shirlene
netball
semester 1 admin councilor
Manyun
netball
semester 1 attendance councilor
semester 2 maths rep
Sihui
chinese orchestra
Yongyi
eldds
maths rep
Jia Min
st johns
PE rep
Jing Mei
girl guides
chinese rep
Linna
ijym
Audrey
track & field
semester 1 security councilor

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I wan this!
I want that!&I want everything!
Pee/ass:I'm not greedy eh. D:
UNITED&BONDED!!
EVERYONE GET INTO DESIRED S3 CLASS